Saturday, October 14, 2017

Become a Yakuza! Japan's #1 Online Yakuza Fashion Boutique! なんちゃってヤクザファッション専門店!


Folks! I have my nominee for "Best Website of the Year!" It is called "Birth Japan" (http://www.rakuten.ne.jp/gold/auc-birthjapan/) and it is a Yakuza Gangster Fashion and accessories site on Rakuten. Rakuten is the largest e-commerce site in Japan and among the world’s largest by sales. So, Rakuten is a name you can trust! (Insert diabolical laughter here.)

Don't believe me? Go to check this awesome webpage out RIGHT NOW! https://www.rakuten.ne.jp/gold/auc-birthjapan/

Birth Japan seems to be run by some (former?) Yakuza. On their website they say they've gone straight and so you can trust them too. Honest!


My best friend, "Ken" (not his real name), showed me the Birth Japan website yesterday and I loved it!!! "Ken"also told me that he had finally found his dream; his calling in life. He said he wants to become a Yakuza! 

Wow! That's cool! Me too! I'm totally serious here folks. "Ken Nishikawa" (not his real name) has found the website of the year. I haven't had this much fun and been excited about a website like this since the early days of the internet. I'm being dead serious here ("Dead" in a "figuratively speaking" manner, of course) you will just LOVE the Birth Japan webpage!

I want to become a Yakuza too! And you can in an instant with Birth Japan! They even say so on their webpage!. And when you go to their webpage, they've got gun shots and cool suspenseful background music too - so you can feel like you ARE doing something illegal when you visit their pages!

Don't move! Hands up!


(Above) It says something like, "If you are a good person, you can become a bad person instantly. If you are already a bad person, you can become a really bad person in seconds!" (with Birth Japan!) 

What are we waiting for? I'm in!


The above is a cool link from their webpage. It says that "Everything here (at this click) is only ¥1 yen but there is a, er, 'catch,' or a 'condition.'" Gee, I wonder what that 'catch' or 'conditions' could be? 

Well, I trust these guys, so I'm going to click it... If I suddenly am "disappeared" then you'll all know what happened.


If anything, "Birth Japan" is a name you can trust when it comes to buying stuff from and looking like a Yakuza. The above shot is announcing their big 10th Anniversary Sale! It's the 10th Anniversary of the boss of Birth Japan being released from prison! You can also sign up for their mail magazine that is full of outlaw stories from the boss (before he went straight!)

This is really hilarious. These guys have a sense of humor! I love that photo of the boss at the top right!


Keep your eyes open when visiting the site, there are discount coupons and all sorts of stuff flying by the screen at all times. It really does remind me of the fun sites from the early days of he internet. I really do dig Birth Japan!


Check it! You can order a wide variety of fashions for Yakuza as well as accessories like sunglasses, chains, belts, shoes, boots, buckles, lucky charms, dog tags, etc. You name it. They got it. 

And, if you buy it, WHAMMO! You become instant Yakuza bad guy! How cool is that?


Check it! Luxury for you and your favorite gangster and gangsterette!


Talk about Customer Service! What's this? Another sale? Yep! You can get a 5% discount on all deliveries to your friends who are currently in prison and a 5% discount for your friends who have been released from prison within the last 3 months. ABSOLUTELY NO C.O.D.!


Hey, and if you know what's good for you, you'll go and "Like" the Birth Japan Facebook page! (https://www.facebook.com/893fashion)

There's a few hours of fun and cool stuff on the Birth Japan site. Here is their "Image Video." How cool!
不良ファッションブランド「BLOOD MONEY TOKYO」イメージCM その2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgLjO5Lxaqk


Check out the Birth Japan website. It's fabulous! "Birth Japan" 
Tell them "Ken Nishikawa" (not his real name) sent you!
(http://www.rakuten.ne.jp/gold/auc-birthjapan/) 


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NOTES: Some folks reading this might think I am joking. And I am, a little bit. But I think the guys running Birth Japan might be genius. They could be onto something big here. Imagine of the Anime community found out about this? Birth Japan could become very wealthy.

Also, I have written about the Yakuza before and have no real complaints about them. They have always been polite and had manners.... They are much better than the government who, through coercion, extorts money from us at gunpoint and bombs kids in foreign countries. The Yakuza also follow a code of ethics.... The government? Ethics? Never in the same room or in the same sentence.

Read this: Yakuza: Japanese Modern-Day Cowboys 
https://www.lewrockwell.com/2006/01/mike-in-tokyo-rogers/japans-modern-day-cowboys/  

1 comment:

Andrew Joseph said...

To me, it's no different from when people were selling orange jumpsuits as a fashion - after prison uniforms... or the whole pants down under the waist look... another fashion inspired by the NO BELT look allowed on prisoners, so their pants would fall down... it's to make you look all gangsta...
I think the Yakuza look is better... they dress better than any prisoner I've ever seen, excluding one of two women on Orange Is The New Black.
I only met one yakuza - a boss in my town, but he was polite and intimidating - not an easy thing to pull off!
By the way... your new "prove I'm not a robot" device is awesome... I had to select all images that contained 'soup'.

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